Galactic Imperium News Service!

GINSBreaking News From the Galactic Imperium News Service!

Imperium Supreme Court upholds Universal Healthcare for All! Recently the Imperium Supreme Court proclaimed that Universal Healthcare for all sentient creatures throughout the galaxy will indeed be provided by the Imperium Government. The High Imperium Court Leader announced that, “Obviously those who oppose Imperium Universal Healthcare are a greedy, wealthy small minority who would prefer chaos, sickness, and death over the Imperium controlling the health and well-being of all it’s glorious citizens.” Meanwhile, the Emperor of the Galaxy praised the decision of the Imperium Supreme Court. “It pleases me that the Imperium Supreme Court once again made the correct decision. We all should be happy that we have such wise leaders who are so adept at forcing us to understand what’s right and lawful for our way of life.”

Emperor of Galaxy Issues Statement on Rebellion Flags! The Emperor of the Galaxy recently issued a statement about anyone offering support for the rebellion through the flying of rebel flags. His royal highness stated that, “The Galactic Imperium obviously denounces the flying of flags in support of the rebellion. After the rebels attacked our first entirely peaceful laser mining space platform, this rebel flag only stands for hatred and death – unlike our beloved Imperium flag. And besides, the rebels were crushed in battle, and their leaders are no more. The people of the galaxy are obviously free now. Every school child in the Imperium Government School System knows this.” In response, Imperium supporters quickly took to the ibstreets and began protesting and harassing anyone who has a history of not always agreeing with everything the Imperium does. Other good Imperium citizens have defaced monuments relating to traitors who were killed in rebellion activities. In the meantime, the Imperium strongly encourages everyone to fly the Imperium banner, which proudly stands for freedom, justice, peace, love and small cuddlesome kittens.

Galactic Imperium News Service – your source for unbiased news reporting! Stay tuned to your local holovid channels for interviews from rebellion supporters who have been captured and determined insane by the Imperium Psychological Board of Health and Safety – thus proving that anyone associated with the movement is a danger and threat to our way of life. Also, don’t miss our program later in the evening on the Imperium Congress recently voting to construct a second peaceful laser-mining space platform for the purposes of job creation and economic stimulation…

IjudgeNote: This post is a work of humorous science fiction. Any relation to actual incidents or real people is an unusual coincidence indeed! And while doubtless millions of readers were perhaps hoping that a huge empire actually existed for the purpose of overseeing your business, what you believe, think and do – there is in actuality no real Galactic Imperium, Imperium Supreme Court, Imperium News Service, nor Emperor of the Galaxy. Sorry to disappoint.

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