Galactic Imperium News Service (GINS): At the press event hosted last Tuesday afternoon at this year’s Entertainment Expo, a few non-gender specific eyebrows were raised when Snowflake games released teaser posters and in-game footage of their newest project, Social Justice Warrior: The Age of Rage. Snowflake games CEO, Draenal Moonkaxx was on hand at the big reveal, which featured 20 foot tall animatronic “SJW Bots” that periodically shot various stuffed toys representing the 522 known genders out into the crowd. Moonkaxx, who appeared the evening before in a 24 karat gold limo with several Gamergate personalities, claimed that the game is “largely being funded by dump-truck loads of money funneled into the project by socialist college professors, wealthy leftist baby boomers and SJW Antifa feminist types who are looking to cash in on the culture of rage and identity politics”.
In-game footage shown at the event depicted a genderless superhero in anime style who uses a variety of weapons and Statist power-ups to create a communist utopia where everything that offends progressive relativistic sensibilities has been eradicated, rewritten or reprogrammed. “It’s really an exciting concept that’s a first,” Moonkaxx excitedly described. “Some of the special abilities that players can unlock as they progress through the game are really awesome too, and give a real sense of how some Leftists use government power and the establishment media to reshape society. For example, if an in-game villain tries to stop our hero from clubbing people in the head in the name of peace, love and tolerance – then imagine using ‘cronyism’, ‘propaganda’, ‘powerful lobbyist groups’ or ‘leftist judges’ to achieve a victory.”
As the crowd cheered and held up “The Age of Rage” and “Join the Resistance” signs (which were pre-printed signs distributed by Snowflake games before the press event), Moonkaxx picked up a flamethrower and walked over to a male mannequin wearing devil horns and a t-shirt with the words “Gamergate is a Lie” on it, and promptly lit the whole thing on fire.
“The coming release of Social Justice Warrior on all major gaming platforms will be a win-win for the Snowflake team, and a definite contender for game of the year,” Moonkaxx elaborated on Tuesday’s stage. “Because obviously if you don’t like it or give it a negative review, you’re a racist, fascist sexist gamer who is trying to sabotage our efforts to create something that preaches peace, love and tolerance through fun usages of force and aggression.”
Note: This parody post is intended as a work of humorous fiction / satire. Any relation to actual people or game sites is an unusual coincidence indeed! And while doubtless millions of readers were perhaps hoping that Social Justice Warrior: The Age of Rage actually existed, no such game actually exists (that we know of).